Oh the luck. About three weeks ago I signed a shiny new
tenancy. Bloody brilliant. Nice little 2 bed for over a thousand a month.
Because you know…..South East England is the place dreams are made of or something
(seriously the schools are good though).
All is well and good except I’m eating on the floor like a tramp every
night! Pot Noodle for one! Furniture was slowly being delivered like a snail on
a slow stroll in relativity to their own speed. Far too many items going back
to the sorting office because my letterbox is smaller than my nostril. My point
is life was good!
Literally a week ago the heavens opened from my ceiling and
rained down on me. Absolute magic. The power. The unbelievable. My ceiling the
heavens! My floor the oceans! My soul absolutely fucking destroyed! Oh the
fucking luck. My new extortionate little two bed was flooded beyond all belief.
The electrics cut. Couldn’t see a thing mind as it was 1 AM. I will be honest I
did kind of get slightly hysterical and ring the police to tell them it was
raining inside and I might die. So they sent me the fire brigade. This however
wasn’t before I rang the love of my life to proclaim my undying love for him
and say my final goodbyes.
The call went something like this:
ME: “Trev it’s fucking pouring down inside what do I do?!
SAVE ME!”
TREV: “I don’t fucking know go back to bed”
ME: “What the fuck advice is this? I might die! Don’t you
care? Are you such a prick? You cheating on me? You death? YOU GAY BRO?”
TREV: “you won’t die,
just stay calm and ring 999 or something babe”
ME: “ STAY CALM? WHEN IM GOING TO DIE, YOU STAY CALM PRICK!”
The firemen came, lovely people. Wonderful people. Calmed me
right down. They had to check the building was stable and light some candles
for me. My two monsters were loving life. They had bragging rights in school
the next day about the firemen turning up. No doubt with my genes they entirely
over exaggerated the story. The firemen were awesome, although I must say I did
worry about them going up into my attic. I mean they looked no younger than 50’s
60’s. I didn’t want them to pull a back bit or get a minor stroke getting up
into my attic. No magic Mike I can tell you. But voices more soothing than
angels!
Well since then I’ve been living from night to night
wondering if there will be a roof over my head as its hotel living. I was
chewing every throat out via email, and giving every bitch a metaphorical tit
punch too. But the truth is I met my landlord face to face today, and when she
apologised my heart sunk at least 100 times quicker than the titanic. I could
see the sincereity and suddenly I didn’t feel like pushing for things to move
faster. It was clear she felt bad and was trying her best.
I have also had a little less patience with the monsters
than usual. One warning and then the consequences have come into play rather
than the 100 warning system I usually have. Let’s just say I’ve been eating all
their biscuits and treats this week (So sue me Im human and need comfort food
in these lonely hotel nights)! But today seeing them gang up on me together
actually made me proud and smile. I forget that sometimes, no matter how fun I
try to make it and shelter them from the truth, hotel living isn’t easy on them
either. But they’ve stuck together through it all like Gerrard and Carragher.
OR Jason Bowen and Andy Legg I would prefer to say. My point is they are little
soldiers. And I will stop eating their treats. They are still little shits
though. The one told me I’m no longer fat today. I mean COME ON! SO YOURE
SAYING I WAS FAT YESTERDAY YOU LITTLE SHIT? Only love though.
To top it off my boyfriend’s still a non-present prick. But
he’s a non-present prick because of his job. This is the engine of his
borrowing me money all the time and making sure I am okay. Staying calm when I
am hysterical to plan the best course of action, and to bring me down from my
panic. Helping me constantly. Loving me. Being there in spirit when he can’t be
physically. Being my biggest fan and my best motivator when I’m feeling beyond
shit. Being Jack to my Rose when my
Titanic sunk. So I guess what I am trying to say is…….what I have learnt
through this is…..everyone is human, we all make mistakes. But we all love. Everyone is trying their best. If you look
with clear objective vision there is actually love in the world. And love can
make any disasters bearable.
I am actually blessed and I love the people around me. It's world peace day today. I think it's totally relevant for everyone to calm the fuck down. Take a moment to reflect on the world. Just breathe. Remember your love for people. People's love for you. Remember we are all human. Remember people's love for other people. I mean even Putin must have a mum who loves him and he loves her right? So maybe one day he can learn to love the whole world with differences and similarities alike.
Peace out x
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